


Hold On

by CastielWinchester96



Series: Deaf!Sam Verse [39]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Deaf, Deaf Character, Deaf Sam, Deaf Sam Winchester, Hurt Dean, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam, Hurt Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-08 10:57:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12863055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielWinchester96/pseuds/CastielWinchester96
Summary: A paramedic was standing over him. Behind him were stars. Thousands and millions of stars filling the darkest of skies. He wheezed, his breaths pulling at his chest.“D’n...” He spoke up before rolling his head to the side.There was glass, and lots of it. The pieces covering the expanse of the road. But there was no Dean.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> " " - indicates speech  
> ' ' - indicates signing

Sam awoke to pain, and lots of it. His wrist throbbed, and he could taste blood in his mouth from where he must have bitten his tongue. Everything felt fuzzy, the room spinning as he struggled to place where they were or what was happening. Hands were touching him. Pulling at him. He whimpered, trying and failing to keep his composure as he wanted to do nothing more than bat the hands away, but found himself unable. Something was trapping his left hand, and his right wrist felt like he’d broken it again.

More hands. They came thick and fast now, pressing down against his stomach and chest. He knew pleas were escaping from his lips but he didn’t care. His heart hurt so much. Hadn’t hurt this much since the accident. He wanted to see what was happening but immense pain shot through him every time he even attempted to open his eyes.

He wanted Dean, he wanted his brother.

Something was poured over his eyes. It was cool and felt amazing. A hand rested on his cheek before his eyelids were softly brushed with what felt like a wet cloth. And then, he was finally able to flicker his eyes open slowly.

A paramedic was standing over him. Behind him were stars. Thousands and millions of stars filling the darkest of skies. He wheezed, his breaths pulling at his chest.

“D’n...” He spoke up before rolling his head to the side.

There was glass, and lots of it. The pieces covering the expanse of the road. But there was no Dean.

Sam looked back to the paramedic, who looked annoyed, even though he was trying to hide it.

“D’n? Br-u-th-er?” He struggled as a sudden wave of nauseous came over him, distracting him from his speech.

The paramedic furrowed an eyebrow of concern at Sam’s speech and a few seconds later he was able to lipread ‘potential head injury’.

“Deaf... Usually sound like this.” Sam stated.

The paramedic’s eyebrows rose as clearly everything began to make sense. Sam guessed that he the guy thought he was ignoring him.

“We...get...out...here...” Sam could only lipread some of what the paramedic was saying. He talked too fast and kept moving his head in every direction imaginable but he could easily fill in the blanks.

After a few seconds, another paramedic walked over before he was lifted into the air strapped down to a gurney. Loaded into the ambulance, Sam turned his head to the side once again, eyes widening as he did so.

“D’n...” He gasped.

Dean was lying unconscious across the ambulance from him, blood pouring from a large gash on his forehead.

Sam reached out a hand and gently took his brother’s offering it a squeeze.

And then he began to seize.

Sam’s eyes widened as his brother began to shake violently, retracting his hand as the paramedics rushed over to treat him. It scared him to experience being a witness to one, finally understanding what it must be like for Dean when he had to go through this.

The seizure didn’t last long, but the monitors connected to Dean began to light up suddenly. One of the paramedics grabbed a defibrillator and began to charge it. A few seconds later, the paddles were pressed to his brother’s chest, the shocks causing his chest to rise up from the bed before collapsing down again shortly after.

Sam’s eyes filled with tears as he held back hiccupping sobs of fear at the sight. The paramedic repeated this a second and third time before the monitors changed back to what he guessed to be normal. Once they felt Dean to be stable enough, the ambulance began to move. Sam reached out his hand once again.

“It okay, D’n... I here... Okay. Hang in there. I need you, D’n...” His tone almost begged as he hoped his brother would hear him. “Please...”


	2. The Fear

He didn’t know when he’d joined Dean in unconsciousness, but Sam found himself awakening in an empty hospital room. The sun was shining in through a large window on the far wall and his wrist had been casted.

A passing doctor poked his head round the door before entering.

‘Name me Doctor Parks’ He signed.

Sam nodded.

‘You in car accident. Broken arm and cuts to body, mainly chest, and cracked ribs’

‘I sign out’

The doctor looked displeased.

‘You need rest’

Sam shook his head.

‘Bring forms’

The doctor sighed.

‘Fine’

* * *

After three lectures from the doctor about how this was a bad idea, Sam had finally completed the forms to sign himself out, got dressed back into his now distressed clothing, and made his way to the reception to ask where abouts Dean was. Getting his answer, Sam took the elevator to the third floor before reaching his brother’s room.

Quietly opening the door, he found Dad sat slumped and asleep in the chair beside the bed. Dean was lying still, still hooked up to a variety of monitors and a ventilator which was breathing for him. The sight made him sick to the very pit of stomach as he stumbled over wobbly to the empty seat before clamping a hand over his mouth as tears began to trickle down his cheeks, his composure slowly fading.

The pain from his ribs made both sitting upright and slouched painful. Sam wrapped an arm around his chest gently and tried to ignore it as best he could.

Dad began to stir as his eyes flickered open, finding Sam in seconds.

“Sam?” He asked, sleepily. “What are you doing in here?”

“Sign myself out. What doctor say about D’n?”

“Not much. He’s struggling to breath so they put him on a ventilator, and they think he has a brain injury.”

Sam’s eyes widened as he felt nauseous once again.

“What?!”

“Yeah, he hit his head pretty good on the wheel when you crashed.”

“He seize in ambulance.” Sam relayed.

“Yeah, his heart stopped. Took him half-a-minute to get him back apparently.”

“I know. I had to watch.”

“Sam, don’t use that tone with me.”

“What tone?” Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

“You know exactly what I mean.”

Sam took a deep breath.

“Can we not fight, please? If D’n hear us he should not hear us arguing.”

Dad was silent for a few seconds before nodding.

“How are you doing?”

“Fine.”

“They didn’t tell me much.”

“Not much to tell, just cut up.”

Dad took a breath.

“You should go back to the motel.”

“What?! No. Why?”

“You need your meds and I need to stay here with Dean so I can’t just go and get them.”

“Fuck my meds, I not leave D’n.”

“Sam...”

“No! I be fine.”

“No you won’t and I won’t risk it. Now go back to the motel, that’s an order.”

Sam scoffed.

“I done taking your orders. I sure we ‘stablish that months ago.”

Dad’s face became angered in seconds.

“You’ll do as I fucking say!”

“I don’t have to do a fucking thing. He’s my brother and I care about him a lot more than you seem to.”

Sam regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth. He was rewarded for his stupidity a few seconds later when Dad rose to his feet, pulling him up with him. Sam’s ribs screamed in protest as he was held by the collar.

Dad released his shirt, his anger seeming to drain too before a softer expression appeared. “Shit...” He helped Sam back down to the seat, obviously finally noticing the pain the youngest Winchester was trying and failing to hide. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He repeated before he broke down.

Sam looked taken aback, not able to recall the last time he’d seen Dad cry. “It okay. It okay, D’d. I should not said that. I out of line.” He pulled the older man as close as he was able in their seats, wrapping his arms around him comfortingly. “You scared about, D’n. It okay. I am too. But like I said before, we not argue. You know how much it upset him when we do”

Dad looked up to meet his gaze with watery eyes and nodded before he noticed Sam grimace.

“Where are you hurt?”

“Ribs. Must have cracked them in crash.”

“Ouch.”

Sam smirked. “Yeah, it not feel great right now.”

“Maybe you could ask for a pillow? Might make sitting in these chairs comfier.”

“You not banish me?”

“We’ll have to get your meds at some point, but I’m sure you’ll be fine for now. Yeah?”

Sam nodded.

“But, if you start feeling like you need them, you have to tell me, right?”

“Okay.”

Dad looked him over.

“You are forever breaking that wrist.” He teased.

“I know. I might as well just wear this permanently. This what, fourth time? Bone must be totally fucked.” Sam smirked.

“You shouldn’t have thrown yourself off the roof trying to fly then.”

“Meh, trial and error.” Sam laughed.

The conversation died down for a few minutes, both Winchesters simply watching Dean lying still on the bed before Sam spoke up softly.

“Not remember last time you cry.”

Dad turned to him.

“Last time was when you were lying there, just like Dean is now.” He began. “We didn’t know what was happening and when they eventually let us see you, it hurt so bad. The doctor then took me into the corridor away from Dean and told me that there was a very strong chance that you might never wake up. After that I was just... broken. Dean found me sobbing in the corridor and demanded to know what was wrong. I told him and although he looked distraught, he kept a brave face on and helped me back into the room.”

“D’n always put other people first.”

Dad nodded.

Sam took a breath. “I not know.”

“We never told you. Didn’t want that hanging over as well as the seizures. Just ‘cause you woke up didn’t mean you weren’t still suffering. It broke my heart every single time you seized. Still does.”

“I can control them now.”

“I know.” Dad nodded. “But it’s my job to worry, I’m your Dad.”

Sam fidgeted with his fingers.

“Do you think D’n be okay?”

“I don’t know, Sammy, but he’s stubborn, so I think he has the best chance of anybody.” Dad held out an arm. “Come here.”

Sam closed the gap between them and leant into his father’s side, burying himself against the older man’s chest as he began to sob, not caring about the pain in his ribs. He wanted his brother, and the thought of losing him hurt more than anything the world could throw at him.


	3. Belief

As night fell, Dad handed him money for a taxi. Sam wanted to just grab his meds and come back, but Dad told him that he should get some sleep and come back in the morning, stating that Dean wouldn’t want him getting ill.

Walking down the hospital corridor, eyes almost glazed as the events of the past day began to hit home. He noticed a sign pinned above one of the doors and stepped inside.

The room was larger than Sam expected with two aisles of pews lining the walls.

A few years back, during a long stint in a motel room on their own he’d took his chance. They’d had no contact from Dad for five days and they were beginning to get worried. Thirteen at the time, he’d crossed over to Dean’s bed, sat down on the edge and asked.

‘Do you think God know ASL?’

Dean, known for his blatant denial of any form of higher power, had been reassuring. His older brother knew that he found comfort in the idea and Sam was thankful that he hadn’t just shut him down cold. Instead he’d replied.

“If the dude made you guys then I’m sure he speaks your language.”

So he’d sat down and learnt the correct signs for the Lord’s prayer. After that his prayers became more personal, asking for the safe return of Dean and Dad when they would go out hunting together. It gave him a distraction.

Sam took a seat towards the back of the chapel and rested his hands on his lap, palms together as he bowed his head ever so slightly.

‘My brother injured. He fight for life. I ask you watch over him. I ask that you show mercy to heal him. He good man and amazing big brother. He not deserve this. I scared to lose him. We not handle another loss. We already lost Mom, I not want to imagine Dad if we lose Dean. I would probably end up alone. So please, I ask... beg you to help him.’

Sam sniffled.

‘Please’

Wiping away a tear from his eye, he took a moment before standing up from the pew and walking out of the chapel.


End file.
